Let’s Talk Boundaries

Why Have Boundaries?

Bedtime procrastination. Brain fog. Quick jabs and frequent snapping at loved ones or coworkers. Unclear purpose at work or home. Inflexibility with unexpected changes. Low energy throughout the day. Inharmonious relationships. Loss of joy in your profession. Waning compassion. Family discord.

These are many of the symptoms of burnout. But, being the bright medical professional you are, you know that simply treating the symptoms is not a solution to the problem. A vacation here, a Netflix binge there. A fun night out with friends or an ever-deepening plunge into TikTok. These can all be very nice palliative solutions to take the edge off from time to time, but long-term it’s not gonna cut it and can even lead to worsening of the condition.

I love this quote from Carey Nieuwhof, “Time off won’t heal you when the problem is how you spend your time on.” This acknowledges the truth that we can’t find the work-life balance we seek if we aren’t willing to address the underlying causes of our overwhelm. And that’s why we need boundaries.

Sports are only fun and exciting with the right kind of boundaries and rules. It’s no accident that nearly 100 million people (in the US) watched the Super Bowl last year, but without boundaries and rules, who would watch it or even want to play the game? It’s the same for work and life. Not enough boundaries renders work meaningless. Too many boundaries limits the creativity and freedom to invent and adapt. And when you find that sweet spot, beautiful and deeply fulfilling things can happen.

So what kind of boundaries do you need to set at work? I’ve got 5 ways for you to consider:

1. [Kindly] say “No” – This one is important because it is very easy to find ourselves saying “Yes” without truly considering the ramifications on our schedule, our minds, our wellbeing, or even our loved ones. When you say “Yes” to one thing, you are saying “No” to another. This is, of course, fine. But the key thing is to stop and take account of what it would mean to say “Yes”. It is perfectly respectful to say, “In order to honor my other commitments, I’m going to decline.” Don’t be wishy-washy on your answer because it will only invite frustration for you and others.
2. Turn off notifications – I struggled with this for years because I was always worried that I would offend someone, miss a deadline, or simply not respond in time. But truly, since I’ve turned off email notifications (or many other apps), I am free to attend to my correspondences with greater focus when I am actually available, instead of allowing the whims of others to dictate the direction of my thoughts and attention.
3. Stick to work hours – As professionals, the “40-hour work week” is anything but standard. To effectively care for those to whom we have dedicated our lives, 40 hours just isn’t enough. But it’s important to still set boundaries for when you will actually turn it “off”. You can’t always be “on”. In order for you to be refilled to come back the next day for your patients, colleagues, and loved ones, you have to create boundaries. Each day may be a little different but week-to-week, you can reasonably expect when you are going to leave work and actually go home.
4. Block your time – This is important especially for creative work that requires more thinking. It’s certainly possible to get this kind of work done between patients or when there are cancellations but it’s not always guaranteed. You need to look ahead at your week/month and decide when you plan to work on that project, plan that event, mentor with your colleague and then BLOCK IT on your schedule. This is crucial to aiding you with #1 above when you need to say “No” to a new request.
5. Plan regular time off – In the past, I would realize (usually around October) that I had hardly taken any time off that year and had to somehow fit 2-3 weeks of PTO in before January without disrupting my patients’ care or my clinic’s needs. But I also failed to understand how it was affecting my ability to come ready and rejuvenated for my work. I was unable to bring my best because I was not finding a regular cadence with time away from work. This will look different for everyone but it’s essential to consider how and when you will take REGULAR time off from your work.

Many professionals struggle to set healthy boundaries around work and it is destroying their lives and affecting those who need their care (at home and at work). By having systems, frameworks, and discipline regarding work, you can show up ready for your patients, your team, and your family.

So block some time now to consider your boundaries and create a life in which you can not only enjoy but also thrive.

If you need any help, please email me at focusdailynow@gmail.com or sign up for my next workshop to learn how to start setting healthy boundaries around your work.